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There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
Being alone is great. Being alone is scary. Being alone is...lonely. It all depends on the mood right? I have been wishing that I didn't have feelings or a soul lately, it is too complicated. They make you cry and angry and sad and vulnerable. But then when you see a baby smile or laugh or when you eat your favorite ice cream, you feel happiness and it's such a warm feeling. Feelings are dangerous, but life changing. I hate it. Everything is so bad, but so good. Chocolate makes you happy, but gives you cavities. How can something be so good, but SO UNHEALTHY?!?!?! 
But also, when can you be alone? Is it safe? You just don't even know when you CAN be alone? The safety part is the most important, personally in my life. I can't just walk outside. I can't just go on the sidewalk with shorts on without being harassed and scared of what might happen. I have ranted about this before, I know. It sounds like some teen complaining about not being able to go out shopping, but it's a serious issue. Many people don't even care because of course it is MY responsibility to make sure I don't get harassed. No, it's not the person's fault who is giving me unwanted attention, they just can't "control themselves". I have to be the one to cover up and ignore them. Will that ever change?

Feminism. Ask yourself what does it mean for you? Equality? Yay girls? Doing whatever you want? Truly ask yourself, what is YOUR definition of feminism or being a feminist. I am part of a new club at school called Feminist Association. It is our first feminist club, how cool is that?!?! I was never brave enough to make it and now one of my friends created it and I get to be a part of the process!! It's scary though..I don't know how our school's feminists are. Are they hardcore? Or just simple? I'm not saying feminists are scary (even though it's not a bad thing) it's just, feminism is such a sensitive topic to cover. Personally, I have not read in close detail about feminism. Of course, I have some knowledge, but it's always not enough. Feminism is wanting equality between women and men. That is the basic definition. But it is not the only definition, which makes everything much more complicated. I've trying to think of what to say once we start the club and it's stressing me out. Everyone will be different, that is a fact, maybe some people will even hate us because of how we run the club, who knows? Please write me a comment on what YOU think feminism is. What can I say to the other feminists at school? What activities can we do? Any advice will be appreciated. (even to all my friends tweet/text/or comment)

College. Applications are approaching and it's pretty freaky. I started this blog sophomore year and now I am a senior who is about to begin an adult process. I have tried to stay positive that I will get into a UC, but it is so hard to be accepted when you aren't the genius of your high school or at all really. I've done many projects that can bring up my chances up and I have to take my second SAT in a few weeks, which can also bring them up as well, but also bring them down. I sometimes think about what if I stay home and just become a transfer student and it doesn't seem so bad, but ever since freshman year, I have set my mind to moving out and going to an university right away and if I don't do that, I feel like I would become depressed because I didn't reach my goal...Of course not doing that is a bad thing, my sister moved out 3 years after high school and look at her now?! She is a student at one of THE BEST UCs. She is all of my friends's inspiration and especially mine. College. Oh goodness, here it comes.

So many thoughts, so much going on. Senior year has been a little rocky, but nothing I can't handle. I know everything will be fine. My biggest concern is what I am going to study. I was looking into helping people adopt children, but that would mean I might get into becoming a lawyer. A freakin' lawyer?!??! How will I manage? I need to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life or my brain will explode. =^^=

꒰*ꏉ◡ꏉ*꒱ノ♡

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At this exact moment I feel excited for school. I'm in publications which means my name will appear in our school magazine and school yearbook and I find that very frickin' cool. I'm making my senior year memorable. I was stressed about 3 hours ago, but now that I have caught up on everything, I am feeling so energized. I am a senior. I took my senior portraits today. VERY awkward to the point where I looked cute, BUT the awkwardness may have made me look ugly. So sad. Hopefully they come out good!!! Senior. Year. Crazy.
Here's a picture of my little devil of a cousin. This picture has literally saved my life. SUCH A QT. I hope you all have a qt in your life! =^^=
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