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Life is weird. You can be super happy one moment, but then the next, you can be down in the dumps. That's me. I hate it. And hate it even more when people blame it on my period. It's me. It's my emotions, stop making up excuses for me. I'll be okay, but when I get into this funk, it just sucks. I feel like crying and talking to people doesn't really help because they try to understand and get to the bottom of it, but....I don't think I want to know why. Or maybe really it's all a mystery and it's just my body releasing the sadness and anger that's been building up little by little over the week or month. I've noticed I'm a very sensitive person. One rude comment and I already hate you or don't want to talk to you. I hate that about myself. I hate that I have noticed how sensitive I am and no one understands!!! Because I feel like we as humans can't understand the feelings we go through even if they may be the same ones, which sounds bad, but agh I don't know!!!! Although, I do try to understand and be positive towards my friends when they need comfort, but honestly every time someone does that to me...I hate it. I do. And I don't know why. These kinds of things make me feel like I don't really...know myself? Or (hopefully) it's just a funk I go through, totally normal..


Well, enough of that, I've got a maaaajjoooooor story to tell you all. So, yesterday (Monday) I went to this concert with my BFWIHALBWASBF (best friend who I hate a lot but we are still best friends) and holy.cow. It was for The Orwells and if you know or listen to them, you can kind of vision how one of their shows would go. Mosh pits, weed, punching, beer, teenage boys who dress like dads (?), lead singer making out with 2 girls, pushing, crowd surfing, weird ass opening, loud, WEED, hair everywhere, jumping, vomit, blood, naked people, DRUNK people, etc. It was the most insane experience I have ever had and I LOVED EVERY SECOND. I have never felt so...comfortable (???) at a concert before. People were just jumping and head banging and I joined in on that and IT WAS SO FUN!!! I didn't know it could be THAT fun?!?!? I truly truly truly wish I could've been in the most pit, but I am way too tiny and weak for that, which makes me SO SAAADDD. There were just a bunch of teen boys pushing and jumping and if I pushed one of them to get them out of my way..THEY WOULDN'T CARE!!! It was such a different environment and it was absolutely awesome, no one gave a crap. Thanks to my bff Arleen for putting up with it and coming with me, honestly you've made my year for joining me. I never expected to be into that kind of crowd...Here are a few pictures of that night (it was super difficult to take good ones because I was right by the mosh pit lol):
LOOK AT MY NEW SHOES AFTER THE CONCERT..AND I WASN'T EVEN IN THE PIT.
Here's an outfit of the day that I really liked!!!! Honestly thrifting is the best thing to do..ever. I don't understand how people can spend so much when there's CUTER AND CHEAP stuff at thrift stores!!!! I would seriously consider buying my graduation or prom dress there if there was a really cute one. Speaking of those two occasions..they're coming up and I still haven't been seriously looking for dresses. I'm not into prom dresses AT ALL, so I'm probably just gonna get a cheap one from like Forever21 or something, but I'm very excited to go look!! I can't believe the school year is almost over, I really don't want to start doing AP tests (DOOMSDALE).
dress - thrifted // shoes - forever21 // socks - target // face - my mom and dad // P.S. my brother sucks for being a butthole and not taking outfit pictures for me
Look at these cool ass pins I got from the concert!! One of them says "Who the fuck are The Orwells?" and I love that so much ahhahahah
Oh and I also made homemade thai tea this weekend!!! It was pretty good, maybe a bit too bitter, but I can fix that for next time!!! I've been really getting into making things on my own, for some reason it just satisfies me??? Hahahaha, DIY things definitely take up my own time. If you have any cool things you've made, please share!!!! I would loooovvveeeee to hear about it!!!!
Well, before I go off I feel like I need to talk about something....here's something - I know this topic has been covered way too much here, but I love emphasizing it..do not care what others think about you. Honestly. It will make you so much happier and you will do whatever you'd like with no fear. It doesn't matter if you like One Direction or Meatbodies or Jason Derulo or Justin Bieber, you are the best person. THE BEST. And it definitely is cheesy to say that, but fuck caring about not being cheesy, cheesy-ness is probably one of the best things in life, honestly. Just try to be happy and it definitely is hard and like I said I hate it when people tell me to be positive, but look, from me: Fuck being positive when I'm sad, that's probably the least thing I want to be when I'm sad and fuck those who say to be positive because all I feel is sadness..get over the funk yourself. They are your emotions, these emotions are coming from YOU and YOU are the only one who can fix it!!! May take minutes, months, years, but you'll get there. You and I both know that. Recap: fuck what everyone says and you are the only medicine for your problems (most of the time ahaha). Have a great week =^^=

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Sooooooo.....my decision has been made. I will be moving out to San Francisco this year (unless that small possibility of getting off the Santa Cruz wait list happens, but like I said, small possibility). Either way, I will be moving out. I think I have known this for a while now, but it was only last week that I have confirmed and said it to myself that I am ready to move out. My mom doesn't think so, but I think it's because she doesn't want me to move out, but mom, you can't make me stay!! Hahahahaha. It's terrifying, it's all going too fast, but that's life. I'm not that scared RIGHT NOW, but I know I will be so nervous once it actually happens. The good thing is I will have my best friend by my side and that just makes it way better. She's my tru tru truuu friend and I am so glad I will be going to the same college as her.
(here's a little picture of my soon to be city)
My dad left to visit his family in El Salvador for two weeks!!!! That means I get to take my car to school EVERY DAY for TWO WEEKS!!!!!! I am soooo excited. I usually can only take it 3 times because of some problem, but I can finally enjoy it for five days. I love driving these days because I am always making new CDs and I just made three so I have just been rocking out in the car (I think i'm going to make a post about my CDs so watch out for that)
Here's a little outfit of the day: shirt - H&M // jacket - thrifted // pants - thrifted // shoes - adidas // backpack- online //

Recently the idea of "self-loving" has been in my mind again. I've talked about this so much on my blog, but I feel like it's a topic that isn't repeated enough times. "Always love yourself, always care for yourself, always look out for yourself, always think about yourself, always put yourself first, always." Those are just a few reminders that I think are very important. Just remember that you need to make decisions that are best for YOU, not for anyone else. Don't try to satisfy someone, while you're completely miserable. Think. Just think. Don't overthink (like me), but sometimes it's good to do so.
My momm and I lookin' cuteeeeee!!!! I'm going to miss her so much, too much. (BTW I got my permit today!!!!!!! One step closer to my license ;)))

In other news, I heard Disney was going to make a new Mulan movie with actual real people and I'm so scared they're going to ruin it!!!! That is my ultimate favorite movie and if they dare to remake it, they better try their hardest. I've heard a few rumors on Scarlett Johansson playing Mulan and that just confuses me. This a movie that has a full view of CHINESE culture. Why would they give the lead role to a white person??!?! It's insane., let's hope it's all rumors and they do a good job at remaking it.
Little appreciation thought: For those who don't know, I volunteer with children 3 days a week and it sometimes is irritating, but it's such a reward. These kids are so very smart and innocent and clever, it's so great sometimes. It's fun to hang out with them and forget all the troubles of the world hahahaha. These kids are (mostly) well-behaved so when we have to look after them, it's just no issue, it's actually really fun. I've learned a lot through this experience and I'm very grateful for the chance to impact these kids in a positive way. Will miss it very much when I leave.
Me looking at the beautiful Santa Cruz. Way. Too. Cool. Of. A. School.
Well that's it! Just a bit of randomness, probably will post again this weekend, but if not, hope you all had a fantastic weekend!!! =^^=

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