i read this quote in rookie and resonated with it. i have two homes, but never really thought of my mind as 'home'. and it's actually true and real. my mind is my home and i dont know if i like that idea.
if you know me, you know i always say i have two brains. my two brains and i. one brain is the one that speaks and the other brain is the one that analyzes (my first brain is my favorite). i've gotten weird/confused looks when i tell people i think i have two brains and it makes me feel kind of insecure, but i get it.
anyways, yeah i've got two brains. for example, let's take a normal conversation, like this:
"Hey! Wanna hang out today?"
"Ugh, no sorry, I can't!"
"Oh, okay!"
Normal. No substance. Simple. - That's how my first brain thinks.
But with my second, god, is it annoying. This is how it thinks:
"Fuck, they don't like me. They probably don't want to hang out with me. Man, they hate me. Like why don't they want to hang out? Are they doing something today? Lol, they just don't wanna hang out with me. Yeah, that's it."
Second brain, nO, THAT'S NOT IT. WTF?????
I've talked about this with my friend, Jess, and she said it perfectly, "I feel like everyone is out to get me." AND THAT'S EXACTLY IT!!! I read into things too much and fuck, it's so annoying. and it's not only that, i literally think about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. there's so much going on in my brain that it just gets exhausting.
but i don't really wanna talk about my two brains too much because well, guess what, I'LL READ TOO MUCH INTO IT. what i wanna talk about is my mind being my home. yeah, it's scary, but it's kinda nice. my mind is mine. no one else's. i can think about something and no one know i thought about it (unless my theory in someone, SOMEONE, in this world being able to mind read is true). it's just cool that your mind is one of the only things that's rightfully YOURS and no one can use/take/etc. it. sometimes you do want someone to take it away, we've all got our problems up in there (our brain [or brains]). but, personally, i think it's nice having something that's always with you. i'm treating my brains as if they're real objects, but seriously, they can be. anyways, that's the story of my two brains and i. =^^=
god, i've been trying to type this blogpost up for WEEKS. there's so much to talk about I don't even know where to begin so here's an attempt:
ONE - I went to Mexico last month for my cousin's wedding and it was so so fun!! I got to spend some time with family and got to see beautiful sights and got reminded of my privilege. we passed by some little little little LITTLE towns and it was refreshing. i talk about privilege a lot, but because i think it's important to recognize it at all times and be grateful for what we've got. anyways, here's some pictures of that weekend, even though these DEFINITELY don't justify how fucking beautiful it was. TWO - because my friends and i couldn't make it to beach goth this year (even tho i heard it was a shit show), we decided to be a bit lame and create 'geach both' and just listened to music and had some fuuunnnnn. OH, also we're fans of Stranger Things so we did the wall letters thing (first pics are of all that). Halloween also passed and it was fun (i was Selena Quintanilla :-), (so there's also pictures of that night as well).THREE - we also celebrated two birthdays this past month. two great friends are now a year older and i hate it (i'm kind, of sort, really terrified of growing old!!!!). [random note: well, the U.S. is in deep shit. y'know, it was/is hard. its been hard for a lot of people trying to cope with the fact that our next president (and our future cabinet) are so full of hatred toward so many minorities. this election had so many negative aspects, i still cant believe it was really our election. fuck being in a bubble full of privilege and not remembering that there are so many racists, misogynists, homophobics, transphobics, islamophobics, xenophobics, etc., etc. fuck this corrupt world. ]FOUR - so now, as im typing this, im home for fall break and its my first day here. its already been a rough day, but lets hope for better ones. here are some pictures that make me wanna cry because i love my friends. (pic creds to mia!! if ya wanna see more beautiful film, she has posted more on her instagram) im hoping to post again this week, i really need to focus on my blog more. give me life updates!!! how are u guys!!! hope youre happy!!!! and great doing things!!!
